Wednesday 20th August  17:19 pm Good Afternoon

on today on tomorrow other dates...

Nelson's Column November Spam, Spam, Spammity-Spam, Shakespeare, Zorro, Chico and Rasputin 4th November 2005 Should he ever find the internal motivation to create it It's been an amazing year for theatre in London - we began with predictions of the death of the West End, as a resurgent National Theatre swept all before it. We've ended with the National Theatre exiting stage left, tears in its eyes, as the West End’s commercial theatres swept the board at the Evening Standard Awards. So what have we got to look forward to next year that will compete with the joy of 'Billy Elliot', Ewan MacGregor’s spine-tinglingly sexy turn in 'Guys and Dolls', the incredibly cool Blue Man Group and the grim terror of the Donmar's 'Don Carlos'? And do we have anything that can match the genius of 'Behind the Iron Mask', the remarkable musical that has been hailed as The Worst Show of All Time? The answer to the second question is a resounding 'Yes'. The select group of musicians to have West End shows based on them is a roster of all-time greats: Queen, Elvis Presley, Buddy Holly, ABBA and, coming soon to a theatre near you... almost-forgotten 80s disco dregs Boney M! Remember Ra-Ra-Rasputin (Russia's greatest love machine)? Remember Rivers of Babylon? Well both these hits (and some others, I imagine) will be featured in a top West End musical 'Daddy Cool', starring MC Harvey of the So Solid Crew (assuming he doesn’t assault any more policemen and end up in jail) and following the same plot outline as Romeo and Juliet. I’m really not making any of this up. 'Behind the Iron Mask' closed so quickly that I never got the chance to see it, but I won't be making the same mistake with 'Daddy Cool'. I'm getting my tickets the minute I have the chance, to see what will surely be the most memorably awful show of all time. I'm so excited about 'Daddy Cool' that I'm finding it hard to think about anything else, but there are some other great shows on their way. Nicole Kidman is in talks to star in a production of 'Hedda Gabler' in March, the Monty Python musical 'Spamalot' is coming at some point in late summer, and the Royal Shakespeare Company is going to attempt to perform The Complete Works in a single year. And undoubtedly the most bizarre new development is Andrew Lloyd Webber's plan to cast the lead in his new stage musical of 'The Sound of Music' through a TV series and a public vote organised on the same lines as the 'X-Factor'. I personally can’t wait to see Chico leaping out of his habit to sing 'The hills are alive...' Anyway, my darlings, a very good friend of mine is directing a show called 'Born to Run' that's touring the South-East at the moment. I'm off to see it tonight in Croydon (shudder), and since she's something of a genius, I'm firmly expecting her to take it to the West End next year and make it a massive hit. Remember, you heard it here first. Balls Up at Blackheath Bookshop A rare football signed by members of the victorious 1966 World Cup squad, has been stolen from a Blackheath bookshop. Thieves left with £1000 worth of football memorabilia, including the £195 ball. After Dark Arts Forget binge drinking, the London Assembly plans to give Londoners an art attack instead. Late opening galleries and museums are being heralded as the healthy alternative to 24-hour boozing. The plan comes as part of a wider bid to encourage broader after-hours entertainment and also includes later running tubes and more town centre managers. Staged Break Out The New Wimbledon Theatre’s stage production of ‘On the Waterfront’ will feature a cast of current prison inmates. Talented actor and convicted drug-dealer, Amir Hezareh, will take the lead alongside 15 fellow prisoners. July 2008 24th July Sandwiched Out 17th July The Show Ain't Over 'Til the Fat Lady's on Page 3 June 2008 26th June Love All at Wimbledon 16th June Miller Puts the Heat on Tennant May 2008 27th May Booze Banned on Buses 20th May Same Again? April 2008 23rd April By George 11th April Back to the 80s March 2008 28th March How do You Solve A Problem Like Medea? 20th March Flight Fantastic February 2008 20th February Dark, Satanic Turnmills 6th February A Diamond in the Drink January 2008 21st January People Wanted for Plinth 14th January Boo! Hiss! December 2007 28th December Tate That - A Hirst for Art 20th December Christmas Shopping November 2007 27th November Mind the Gap 26th November London On A Tray October 2007 26th October Leaving the Station 14th October The Sky's the Limit September 2007 26th September The Play Within A Play 19th September Fashion, Frocks and Celeb Shocks 12th September Saying Tanks for the Mammaries August 2007 24th August Heathrow under Siege 17th August Gormless 10th August Losing Face July 2007 24th July Are We Reaching Boiling Point Yet This Summer? 13th July Red Ken versus Blonde Boris June 2007 22nd June Last Orders at the Fag Machine 11th June London the Musical May 2007 21st May What Lurks Beneath 10th May The Stuff Dreams Are Made Of April 2007 27th April London’s Walk on the Wild Side 20th April Stand Behind the Yellow Line 13th April Like Water for Chocolate March 2007 23rd March So, Another Magazine 16th March Avoiding iContact February 2007 23rd February Sex and Art... 16th February C-Charge Protest Fails to Bring Down Government 9th February Live Earth London January 2007 26th January A Vote for Shilpa is a Vote for Britain 18th January Carriage on up the West End December 2006 29th December Food for Thought 22nd December A Poisonous Marketing Campaign 15th December In for a Penny, In for Five Pounds November 2006 17th November Big Department Stores Leave Santa Out in the Cold 10th November Failing to Save the World October 2006 27th October Frozen Prawns and Melting Icecaps 20th October Predatory Pelicans and Happy Woodland Folk 13th October Hope at last for east end of Oxford Street September 2006 16th September Lite the Blue Paper and Stand Well Back 9th September Of Poles and Twiglets August 2006 25th August Free Fares For the Fat and the Fashionable 11th August London Friendly 4th August Archway To Organic Heaven July 2006 21st July London - Celebrity Frat House 7th July Out of the Galleries into the Streets June 2006 23rd June Mayors, Nightmares and Marias 16th June Downright Rude in Paris and London 9th June Enter the Inferno May 2006 26th May Curvaceous Border 12th May Vegging Out April 2006 21st April The Camden Crawl 17th April Down the Pan 13th April I Want to Break Free 9th April Big Brother seems to have been left in a bar somewhere 7th April Don't Box Me In March 2006 24th March Political Correctness Reaches New Heights February 2006 24th February A Stadium's Tale: Cup Final Goes West 17th February Modern Musicals are Rubbish 10th February The City-Side Alliance January 2006 20th January February Sales 20th January Moby Sick 13th January Glass Half Full 3rd January Three Cheers for the Tube Station Workers December 2005 22nd December January Bites 16th December A Remarkable Year November 2005 25th November And a Partridge in a JCB 11th November Driving Miss Sadie 4th November Spam, Spam, Spammity-Spam, Shakespeare, Zorro, Chico and Rasputin October 2005 28th October Trick or Treat? 21st October We Don't Mind a Little Delay... 14th October Final Resting Place for Young British Artists September 2005 16th September Just a small urn for me, please barman 9th September DRINK! DRINK! DRINK! 2nd September The Free Tenor August 2005 30th August Samba Rhythms Breaking Out All Over The Stadium 20th August Getting Behind the Iron Farce 10th August Mystery Play is No Sell Out July 2005 29th July Moving On From 7/7 22nd July Get loaded in the park 15th July Victoire!! June 2005 24th June New Balls, Please 17th June The End of an Unsightly Era 10th June The Hooded Law