Tuesday 6th January  14:41 pm Good Afternoon

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Nelson's Column January Three Cheers for the Tube Station Workers 3rd January 2006 Brave staff break their own strike to rescue the New Year festivities while their 'leader' holidays in the sun. I see from this morning’s papers that Bob Crow, the ‘leader’ of the RMT, has issued a Press Release describing the strike on New Year’s Eve as a ‘united and determined stand’. This statement might carry a little more credibility were it not for the fact that Crow is currently sunning himself in Egypt, thousands of miles from the 4000 station workers he is supposed to represent. These workers in turn have earned a huge debt of gratitude from all Londoners by turning up for work on New Year’s Eve in defiance of their union leaders. I may not know much about union politics, but I recognise Crow – he is a fat, blundering pantomime villain and he has hopefully made his last turn on our stage. When you call a strike and nobody pays it any mind, you have lost the confidence of your members. Millions of Londoners were absolutely dismayed by the prospect of a New Year’s Eve Tube Strike. Personally I have a champagne socialist’s instinct in these matters and always like to see a union sticking it to the odious fat cats who mismanage our country… but the idea of a strike designed to ruin New Year’s Eve sent me only one signal. Their union is balloting them with idiotic proposals. The National Union of Rail, Maritime and Transport Workers has a long, proud history and represents upwards of 70,000 essential workers in this country. During the dispute, station staff were quite rightly hailed as ‘heroes’ by Mr Crow, who cited the events of July 7. In fact, the heroism of tube staff is of the more everyday kind. They keep our tubes clean, safe, and functional, a daily miracle for which 10 million passengers are typically ungrateful. This ‘Almost Strike’ has certainly made us appreciate those 4000 station staff whose brave blacklegging rescued our festivities. If it had been carried through, the results would have been a disaster for the union and everybody representing it, crushing all vestiges of public support and leading thousands of member to defect. This columnist wanted to hug the tube staff at her station as she rolled back from Hackney at 9 in the morning on New Year’s Day. The city owes these people a huge debt of gratitude, not just for the party at the weekend, but for their daily work. I hear a lot of grumbling about big fat pay packets and short hours but they deserve every penny. Imagine herding sarcastic, smelly cattle day and night without the aid of an electric prod. According to their schedules, the RMT’s next priority is a second strike on this coming weekend. In reality, I think they’ll be more concerned with repairing their strategy. A million thanks from Londoners to Tube Workers. Boo and hiss to the RMT leadership. And three cheers for good old Ken Livingston whose words I shall leave you with: "I want to pay special tribute to the police, emergency services and transport workers who helped get hundreds of thousands of people home safely. The Tube strike hardly materialised. The majority of London Underground staff did not agree that it made sense to punish ordinary Londoners on New Year's Eve." Woody goes soft on Big Apple Archetypal New Yorker, Woody Allen, has transferred his film-making affections from the Big Apple to London. The 70-year-old director has admitted that filming is much easier in London because of the lack of interference from financial backers. Speaking before the British premiere of Match Point, the first film he has made in London, the director admitted: "My relationship with American audiences is the exact same as it always has been. They never came to see my films, and they don't come now." City Slackers The capital’s male city slickers work the shortest amount of hours per week according to the annual Survey of Hours and Earnings. Male bankers and brokers work an average of just 37.3 hours a week. Park and Hide Little New Street car park at the International Press Centre in Holborn has been officially named the country’s worst place for forgetting where you parked. The competition, run by AA Insurance, looked at car parks all over the country. Unfortunately, Little New Street was the only London car park to get a mention. December 2008 23rd December January is on the Horizon 20th December Merry Christmas November 2008 26th November All The World's A Stage 20th November Surviving the Crunch October 2008 24th October Boris v Jingjing 17th October Soaps in Pole Position September 2008 23rd September Chips too Chavvy for Chelsea 16th September The London Restaurant Awards August 2008 26th August No Smoking, No Ducks, No Barbecues 20th August The Olympics July 2008 24th July Sandwiched Out 17th July The Show Ain't Over 'Til the Fat Lady's on Page 3 June 2008 26th June Love All at Wimbledon 16th June Miller Puts the Heat on Tennant May 2008 27th May Booze Banned on Buses 20th May Same Again? April 2008 23rd April By George 11th April Back to the 80s March 2008 28th March How do You Solve A Problem Like Medea? 20th March Flight Fantastic February 2008 20th February Dark, Satanic Turnmills 6th February A Diamond in the Drink January 2008 21st January People Wanted for Plinth 14th January Boo! Hiss! December 2007 28th December Tate That - A Hirst for Art 20th December Christmas Shopping November 2007 27th November Mind the Gap 26th November London On A Tray October 2007 26th October Leaving the Station 14th October The Sky's the Limit September 2007 26th September The Play Within A Play 19th September Fashion, Frocks and Celeb Shocks 12th September Saying Tanks for the Mammaries August 2007 24th August Heathrow under Siege 17th August Gormless 10th August Losing Face July 2007 24th July Are We Reaching Boiling Point Yet This Summer? 13th July Red Ken versus Blonde Boris June 2007 22nd June Last Orders at the Fag Machine 11th June London the Musical May 2007 21st May What Lurks Beneath 10th May The Stuff Dreams Are Made Of April 2007 27th April London’s Walk on the Wild Side 20th April Stand Behind the Yellow Line 13th April Like Water for Chocolate March 2007 23rd March So, Another Magazine 16th March Avoiding iContact February 2007 23rd February Sex and Art... 16th February C-Charge Protest Fails to Bring Down Government 9th February Live Earth London January 2007 26th January A Vote for Shilpa is a Vote for Britain 18th January Carriage on up the West End December 2006 29th December Food for Thought 22nd December A Poisonous Marketing Campaign 15th December In for a Penny, In for Five Pounds November 2006 17th November Big Department Stores Leave Santa Out in the Cold 10th November Failing to Save the World October 2006 27th October Frozen Prawns and Melting Icecaps 20th October Predatory Pelicans and Happy Woodland Folk 13th October Hope at last for east end of Oxford Street September 2006 16th September Lite the Blue Paper and Stand Well Back 9th September Of Poles and Twiglets August 2006 25th August Free Fares For the Fat and the Fashionable 11th August London Friendly 4th August Archway To Organic Heaven July 2006 21st July London - Celebrity Frat House 7th July Out of the Galleries into the Streets June 2006 23rd June Mayors, Nightmares and Marias 16th June Downright Rude in Paris and London 9th June Enter the Inferno May 2006 26th May Curvaceous Border 12th May Vegging Out April 2006 21st April The Camden Crawl 17th April Down the Pan 13th April I Want to Break Free 9th April Big Brother seems to have been left in a bar somewhere 7th April Don't Box Me In March 2006 24th March Political Correctness Reaches New Heights February 2006 24th February A Stadium's Tale: Cup Final Goes West 17th February Modern Musicals are Rubbish 10th February The City-Side Alliance January 2006 20th January February Sales 20th January Moby Sick 13th January Glass Half Full 3rd January Three Cheers for the Tube Station Workers December 2005 22nd December January Bites 16th December A Remarkable Year November 2005 25th November And a Partridge in a JCB 11th November Driving Miss Sadie 4th November Spam, Spam, Spammity-Spam, Shakespeare, Zorro, Chico and Rasputin October 2005 28th October Trick or Treat? 21st October We Don't Mind a Little Delay... 14th October Final Resting Place for Young British Artists September 2005 16th September Just a small urn for me, please barman