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February
Modern Musicals are Rubbish 17th February 2006
Unlikely Hero Comes to the Rescue of the British Musical
Mamma Mia! Is one of my favourite shows, and I’m not ashamed to admit it. The plot may be a bizarre contrivance, but the jokes, the dancing, and ABBA’s music make for a fabulous, screamingly camp, night at the theatre. Buddy was OK as well, and you can’t go that far wrong with Queen, as the writers of We Will Rock You have found out to their profit.

But there are limits. The Rod Stewart musical ‘Tonight’s the Night’ was far from alright. Madness’ show only lasted a couple of months before slinking off in embarrassment. And now they’re really scraping the bottom of the barrel.

First up is ‘Movin’ Out’ a show based on the horribly annoying songs of Billy Joel. Next we have the chance to immerse ourselves in ‘Daddy Cool’, the Boney M musical, which I wrote about in January, and which has nothing whatsoever to recommend it apart from hopefully being the very worst show of all time. ‘Footloose’ follows, which might even be quite good, but there’s a whole heap of even less promising projects in the pipeline.

Whatever happened to actually sitting down and writing new songs for your shows? Andrew Lloyd Webber has gone completely off the boil (his latest, ‘The Woman in White’ will be closing this week), but that doesn’t mean that nobody else should bother trying. ‘Glorious’ closes in April, and at that point the only musicals on in the West End will be Broadway imports, movie adaptations, pop act tributes or shows written in the last century.

The Blue Man Group, The Producers, Guys and Dolls and the forthcoming Avenue Q are fabulous shows, and there are still great British classics like Blood Brothers, and Phantom. But musicals are the most popular live entertainment we have in this country, and if there is no new generation of Willy Russells and Andrew Lloyd-Webbers, they will eventually go the way of movies, dominated by American imports, and feeble remakes.

Elton John’s fine soundtrack for ‘Billy Elliot’ suggests that Ms. Furness might have a big show in him, but the real glimmer of hope for the West End comes from a more surprising source: Damon Albarn. “The blackest man in West London” (according to ex-bandmate Alex James) will be launching a musical set in and around the music scene of Ladbroke Grove and covering 40 years life in multi-ethnic London.

It sounds like the worst idea ever. But for some reason, everything Albarn touches turns to gold (and yes I have got over my teenage crush on him, thank you very much). He’s reinvented himself as a hip-hop producer, a world music star, and a hard rocker in the last decade, and if anyone’s going to revive the British musical, it’ll be him.
Grab Your Thesaurus You’ve Pulled
The capital’s Get London Reading Campaign got spicy this February with a series of "read-dating" events held at local libraries. Whitechapel, Southwark and Chelsea libraries hosted the events aimed at bringing London’s literary singletons together over a good book.
Dep-ART-ment Store Takes the Biscuit
Hungry shoppers were advised to head to Selfridges, this month, for the chance to devour Chinese artist Song Dong’s latest art installation. 72,000 biscuits and sweets – including Digestives, Rich Teas, Caramels and HobNobs - were used to create a detailed Asian cityscape. Customers of the department store were invited to consume the project after its completion.
Cardiff 1, Wembley 0
Cardiff’s Millennium Stadium is to host this year’s FA Cup because the company building the new Wembley could not guarantee 100% completion in time. In January 2006 Multiplex warned that there was only a 70% chance of the 90,000-seat stadium being ready to stage the final.

2009
2008
23rd December
January is on the Horizon
20th December
Merry Christmas
26th November
All The World's A Stage
20th November
Surviving the Crunch
24th October
Boris v Jingjing
17th October
Soaps in Pole Position
23rd September
Chips too Chavvy for Chelsea
16th September
The London Restaurant Awards
26th August
No Smoking, No Ducks, No Barbecues
20th August
The Olympics
24th July
Sandwiched Out
17th July
The Show Ain't Over 'Til the Fat Lady's on Page 3
26th June
Love All at Wimbledon
16th June
Miller Puts the Heat on Tennant
27th May
Booze Banned on Buses
20th May
Same Again?
23rd April
By George
11th April
Back to the 80s
28th March
How do You Solve A Problem Like Medea?
20th March
Flight Fantastic
20th February
Dark, Satanic Turnmills
6th February
A Diamond in the Drink
21st January
People Wanted for Plinth
14th January
Boo! Hiss!
2007
28th December
Tate That - A Hirst for Art
20th December
Christmas Shopping
27th November
Mind the Gap
26th November
London On A Tray
26th October
Leaving the Station
14th October
The Sky's the Limit
26th September
The Play Within A Play
19th September
Fashion, Frocks and Celeb Shocks
12th September
Saying Tanks for the Mammaries
24th August
Heathrow under Siege
17th August
Gormless
10th August
Losing Face
24th July
Are We Reaching Boiling Point Yet This Summer?
13th July
Red Ken versus Blonde Boris
22nd June
Last Orders at the Fag Machine
11th June
London the Musical
21st May
What Lurks Beneath
10th May
The Stuff Dreams Are Made Of
27th April
London’s Walk on the Wild Side
20th April
Stand Behind the Yellow Line
13th April
Like Water for Chocolate
23rd March
So, Another Magazine
16th March
Avoiding iContact
23rd February
Sex and Art...
16th February
C-Charge Protest Fails to Bring Down Government
9th February
Live Earth London
26th January
A Vote for Shilpa is a Vote for Britain
18th January
Carriage on up the West End
2006
29th December
Food for Thought
22nd December
A Poisonous Marketing Campaign
15th December
In for a Penny, In for Five Pounds
17th November
Big Department Stores Leave Santa Out in the Cold
10th November
Failing to Save the World
27th October
Frozen Prawns and Melting Icecaps
20th October
Predatory Pelicans and Happy Woodland Folk
13th October
Hope at last for east end of Oxford Street
16th September
Lite the Blue Paper and Stand Well Back
9th September
Of Poles and Twiglets
25th August
Free Fares For the Fat and the Fashionable
11th August
London Friendly
4th August
Archway To Organic Heaven
21st July
London - Celebrity Frat House
7th July
Out of the Galleries into the Streets
23rd June
Mayors, Nightmares and Marias
16th June
Downright Rude in Paris and London
9th June
Enter the Inferno
26th May
Curvaceous Border
12th May
Vegging Out
21st April
The Camden Crawl
17th April
Down the Pan
13th April
I Want to Break Free
9th April
Big Brother seems to have been left in a bar somewhere
7th April
Don't Box Me In
24th March
Political Correctness Reaches New Heights
24th February
A Stadium's Tale: Cup Final Goes West
17th February
Modern Musicals are Rubbish
10th February
The City-Side Alliance
20th January
February Sales
20th January
Moby Sick
13th January
Glass Half Full
3rd January
Three Cheers for the Tube Station Workers
2005
22nd December
January Bites
16th December
A Remarkable Year
25th November
And a Partridge in a JCB
11th November
Driving Miss Sadie
4th November
Spam, Spam, Spammity-Spam, Shakespeare, Zorro, Chico and Rasputin
28th October
Trick or Treat?
21st October
We Don't Mind a Little Delay...
14th October
Final Resting Place for Young British Artists
16th September
Just a small urn for me, please barman
9th September
DRINK! DRINK! DRINK!
2nd September
The Free Tenor
30th August
Samba Rhythms Breaking Out All Over The Stadium
20th August
Getting Behind the Iron Farce
10th August
Mystery Play is No Sell Out
29th July
Moving On From 7/7
22nd July
Get loaded in the park
15th July
Victoire!!
24th June
New Balls, Please
17th June
The End of an Unsightly Era
10th June
The Hooded Law
31st May
Widespread Diso-’Beeb’-ience
20th May
Pass the Pepper Spray
20th May
Black Theatre Breakthrough
27th April
Five More Years
20th April
Dancing with Idiots
12th April
A Youthful Look at the Theatre
30th March
Musical Communion
23rd March
Big Guns Back in Town
10th March
Celebs in the City
28th February
There's no business like showbusiness!
22nd February
Ken You Believe It?
10th February
Make Poverty History
28th January
Loving It!
21st January
The Great West End Ticketing Scandal
14th January
The Triumph of the Ordinary
2004
30th December
Party Pooper
23rd December
The Second Battle of Trafalgar
16th December
Sadie's Year
28th November
Ripper-Watch
21st November
Kinky Boots
14th November
Smoked out
22nd October
Yuppie Meal
15th October
Fines of Fury
8th October
No Twist in the Turner
17th September
Battleships, bloodsports and Batman
10th September
Clique Week
3rd September
Return of the Bard
20th August
Politics Takes Centre Stage
13th August
Crisis in Theatreland
6th August
Journey's End
23rd July
Healing Waters
16th July
Mandela Statue in Doubt
9th July
From Art to Ashes
2nd July
One Hurdle Nearer to Gold
 
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