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April
Big Brother seems to have been left in a bar somewhere 9th April 2006
Can the nanny state cope with my state of mind?
I was a late adopter of the Oyster Card – like so many Londoners my immediate reaction to London Underground telling me to do something is to give them a taste of their own medicine and delay it as long as possible.

So a few months ago I finally bought one, topped it up with my hard-earned cash, and learnt the trick of swooping it across the reader without taking it out of the rather dinky little suede wallet I bought for it. And then I lost it. And then I lost my next one a few days later. And another one a few days after that, when I hadn’t even had anything to drink! An unusually perky Station Assistant pitched to get me to fork out for a monthly Oyster, but I brusquely refused him, since this would just exacerbate the problem.

It’s not that it’s going to break the bank, and any lefty conspiracy-theorist will tell you that it’s good to lose these things occasionally… stops Them from tracking your movements. I’m just worried about what’s going to happen when they bring out the ID card. Am I going to have to start stockpiling tinned food, unable to leave the house because I left my ID card in Sketch after my friend’s birthday? Will I come under suspicion of ID trading every time I have a bad month and have to apply for a new one three or four times? Will they even fit in attractive mini-wallets with discreet designer logos on the side?

Though I suspect that actually the capital is going to be rather a good place to avoid all this stuff. We’ve all grown up being hemmed in by health and safety, and we’ve all learnt just how ingenious Londoners can be at ignoring and bending the law. I somehow can’t picture the home of the protest march and the orbital rave as a place where people will just give up their cigarettes, carry their cards and smile at the CCTV.

And yes, I know it’s all for our benefit, but we wouldn’t be British if we didn’t drag our feet and complain, and we certainly wouldn’t be Londoners if we didn’t find some way of bending the law as close to breaking point as it will go.
Are You Being Sentenced?
Oxford Street department store Selfridges has agreed, in theory, to install 10 cells inside its shop. The arrangement, reached with Metropolitan Police, means that the store will be able to hold suspected Oxford Street shoplifters and credit card fraudsters on its premises.
Ginger Nuts
It sounds like an April Fool, and maybe it is, but rumour has it that the Oxford Street Plaza is to host a special weekend on April 1st and April 2nd devoted to red-heads. Head on down for your chance to vote for your celebrity carrot-top.
Capability Townies
Neglected public areas of south London are being spruced up by a team of guerrilla gardeners. Under the cover of darkness the green-fingered gang brighten up verges, roundabouts and traffic islands using a lethal arsenal of begonias, bulbs and Baby Bio.
October 2009
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A River Runs Through It
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When Saturday comes
22nd August
Bring on the Bikes
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27th July
Against the Clock
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View for a thrill
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New Photography Laws
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Glitz and the Pitts
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27th January
Setting the Standard
21st January
Too Much for Posh Nosh?
December 2008
23rd December
January is on the Horizon
20th December
Merry Christmas
November 2008
26th November
All The World's A Stage
20th November
Surviving the Crunch
October 2008
24th October
Boris v Jingjing
17th October
Soaps in Pole Position
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23rd April
By George
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Back to the 80s
March 2008
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Dark, Satanic Turnmills
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A Diamond in the Drink
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People Wanted for Plinth
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Boo! Hiss!
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Tate That - A Hirst for Art
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Christmas Shopping
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27th November
Mind the Gap
26th November
London On A Tray
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26th October
Leaving the Station
14th October
The Sky's the Limit
September 2007
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24th August
Heathrow under Siege
17th August
Gormless
10th August
Losing Face
July 2007
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April 2007
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23rd March
So, Another Magazine
16th March
Avoiding iContact
February 2007
January 2007
December 2006
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October 2006
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July 2006
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May 2006
26th May
Curvaceous Border
12th May
Vegging Out
April 2006
March 2006
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20th January
February Sales
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Moby Sick
13th January
Glass Half Full
3rd January
Three Cheers for the Tube Station Workers
December 2005
22nd December
January Bites
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A Remarkable Year
November 2005
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29th July
Moving On From 7/7
22nd July
Get loaded in the park
15th July
Victoire!!
June 2005
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December 2004
30th December
Party Pooper
23rd December
The Second Battle of Trafalgar
16th December
Sadie's Year
November 2004
28th November
Ripper-Watch
21st November
Kinky Boots
14th November
Smoked out
October 2004
22nd October
Yuppie Meal
15th October
Fines of Fury
8th October
No Twist in the Turner
September 2004
17th September
Battleships, bloodsports and Batman
10th September
Clique Week
3rd September
Return of the Bard
August 2004
July 2004
 
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