Thursday 28th August  2:19 am Good Morning

on today on tomorrow other dates...

Nelson's Column April Don't Box Me In 7th April 2006 Do Road Markings on the Tube Signal Trouble for Travellers? Taking the Tube around London can be pretty nightmarish. I’ve often found myself teetering precariously on the edge of a platform in the close company of hoards of other weary commuters equalling, in mass, the entire population of the Isle of White, holding my breath in case a sudden exhalation of air sends someone topping off the platform into the path of a 50-year old train with brakes as sharp as sludge. There are times when, crammed into a warren of tiny tunnels, with everyone battling for that prime position opposite the one door that might possibly yield a couple of spare inches for an inhumanly skinny body to squeeze into, in sheer desperation, thoughts stray to extreme solutions… the wholesale banning of anyone with a bulging rucksack, buggy, bag, or belly, is a regular fantasy of mine. Even so, the discovery that Transport for London have started to adorn Tube platforms with intersection style “box junctions”, to prevent pedestrians from lingering in areas prone to congestion, is verging on the ludicrous. Are a few yellow lines painted on the floor really going to prevent 100s of swarming, sweaty, city-slickers from hovering around the stairwells? From my experience it’s virtually impossible to see your feet during rush hour on the Tube – let alone spot an open expanse of floor with a neatly painted, grid-like formation strategically placed at irregular intervals along the platform. And even if you did happen to spot it, who in their right mind is going to obey it – especially when doing so is bound to cause congestion elsewhere? And what are the penalties if they don’t? Rather than investing in more trains, better tracks and rolling stock, TfL could, instead, employ hundreds of designated individuals to linger on platforms (taking up valuable space), whose sole purpose is to monitor all box junctions, issuing fines and tickets for those who linger unnecessarily or fail to check that the platform ahead is clear before entering the sacred yellow zone. In any case, the main culprits of inappropriate platform placement are tourists who, as soon as they emerge enthusiastically from the stairs onto a platform, remain doggedly fixed to the spot directly adjacent to the stairwell. Fear of getting lost, losing their place and / or travelling companion, and an understandable reluctance to drag hefty luggage any further than is necessary, result in a firm decision not to explore a platform’s distant extremities. A yellow pattern on the floor is unlikely to make them change this practice – in fact it’s more likely to encourage tourists to linger and capture, on state-of-the-art digital cameras, photographs of this quaint example of English eccentricity. I also can’t help worrying about what comes next. Today box junctions on platforms, tomorrow… traffic lights at ticket barriers? Slow lanes for amblers and shufflers? Overtaking lanes for runners, rushers and muggers? Speed limits on escalators (which incidentally currently fly along at a dizzy speed of approximately 1.65 miles per hour)? Hard shoulders for those with dehydration, exhaustion, minor injuries or split carrier bags? Last year a record level of 976 million total passenger rides were carried out on London’s antiquated underground system. This means an average of 2.67 million journeys per day. You’re not going to be able to control this relentless and ever-expanding rush of bodies with a few nicely painted yellow lines on the floor. The only real solution is, surely, more / better trains; trains reliable and regular enough to ensure a constant, easy flow of travellers throughout a system that forms the backbone of this thriving city. Come on TfL, think outside the box please. Price of Egg is no Yolk A diamond-encased Easter egg, valued at approximately £50,000, went on display this month in La Maison du Chocolat on Piccadilly. 100 half-carat diamonds adorn the Diamond Stella Egg, which is two feet high and filled with apricot chocolate, peach and pralines. Potter Portrait Goes On Show Harry Potter star, Daniel Radcliffe, has become the youngest non-royal to get his portrait displayed at the National Portrait Gallery. The picture forms part of an exhibition entitled ‘Most People Are Other People, Portraits of Actors from Britain and Ireland’. The actor was 14 and had just embarked on the fourth Potter film when he posed for the drawing by Stuart Pearson Wright. Nelson Gets Facelift Restoration work on Trafalgar Square’s iconic Nelson’s Column got underway this month. Scaffolding erected around the statue will enable restorers to carry out a facelift on the entire column as well as Nelson himself. It’s only the third time the whole of the Grade 1 listed monument has undergone restoration. August 2008 26th August No Smoking, No Ducks, No Barbecues 20th August The Olympics July 2008 24th July Sandwiched Out 17th July The Show Ain't Over 'Til the Fat Lady's on Page 3 June 2008 26th June Love All at Wimbledon 16th June Miller Puts the Heat on Tennant May 2008 27th May Booze Banned on Buses 20th May Same Again? April 2008 23rd April By George 11th April Back to the 80s March 2008 28th March How do You Solve A Problem Like Medea? 20th March Flight Fantastic February 2008 20th February Dark, Satanic Turnmills 6th February A Diamond in the Drink January 2008 21st January People Wanted for Plinth 14th January Boo! Hiss! December 2007 28th December Tate That - A Hirst for Art 20th December Christmas Shopping November 2007 27th November Mind the Gap 26th November London On A Tray October 2007 26th October Leaving the Station 14th October The Sky's the Limit September 2007 26th September The Play Within A Play 19th September Fashion, Frocks and Celeb Shocks 12th September Saying Tanks for the Mammaries August 2007 24th August Heathrow under Siege 17th August Gormless 10th August Losing Face July 2007 24th July Are We Reaching Boiling Point Yet This Summer? 13th July Red Ken versus Blonde Boris June 2007 22nd June Last Orders at the Fag Machine 11th June London the Musical May 2007 21st May What Lurks Beneath 10th May The Stuff Dreams Are Made Of April 2007 27th April London’s Walk on the Wild Side 20th April Stand Behind the Yellow Line 13th April Like Water for Chocolate March 2007 23rd March So, Another Magazine 16th March Avoiding iContact February 2007 23rd February Sex and Art... 16th February C-Charge Protest Fails to Bring Down Government 9th February Live Earth London January 2007 26th January A Vote for Shilpa is a Vote for Britain 18th January Carriage on up the West End December 2006 29th December Food for Thought 22nd December A Poisonous Marketing Campaign 15th December In for a Penny, In for Five Pounds November 2006 17th November Big Department Stores Leave Santa Out in the Cold 10th November Failing to Save the World October 2006 27th October Frozen Prawns and Melting Icecaps 20th October Predatory Pelicans and Happy Woodland Folk 13th October Hope at last for east end of Oxford Street September 2006 16th September Lite the Blue Paper and Stand Well Back 9th September Of Poles and Twiglets August 2006 25th August Free Fares For the Fat and the Fashionable 11th August London Friendly 4th August Archway To Organic Heaven July 2006 21st July London - Celebrity Frat House 7th July Out of the Galleries into the Streets June 2006 23rd June Mayors, Nightmares and Marias 16th June Downright Rude in Paris and London 9th June Enter the Inferno May 2006 26th May Curvaceous Border 12th May Vegging Out April 2006 21st April The Camden Crawl 17th April Down the Pan 13th April I Want to Break Free 9th April Big Brother seems to have been left in a bar somewhere 7th April Don't Box Me In March 2006 24th March Political Correctness Reaches New Heights February 2006 24th February A Stadium's Tale: Cup Final Goes West 17th February Modern Musicals are Rubbish 10th February The City-Side Alliance January 2006 20th January February Sales 20th January Moby Sick 13th January Glass Half Full 3rd January Three Cheers for the Tube Station Workers December 2005 22nd December January Bites 16th December A Remarkable Year November 2005 25th November And a Partridge in a JCB 11th November Driving Miss Sadie 4th November Spam, Spam, Spammity-Spam, Shakespeare, Zorro, Chico and Rasputin October 2005 28th October Trick or Treat? 21st October We Don't Mind a Little Delay... 14th October Final Resting Place for Young British Artists September 2005 16th September Just a small urn for me, please barman 9th September DRINK! DRINK! DRINK! 2nd September The Free Tenor August 2005 30th August Samba Rhythms Breaking Out All Over The Stadium 20th August Getting Behind the Iron Farce 10th August Mystery Play is No Sell Out July 2005 29th July Moving On From 7/7 22nd July Get loaded in the park 15th July Victoire!!