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Wednesday 20th August 
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Nelson's Column
May
Curvaceous Border 26th May 2006
The Chelsea Flower Show gets its Hands Dirty
As much as I covet a bunch of blooms, I’ve never really taken that much interest in West London’s annual floral fiesta. To me the Chelsea Flower Show smacks of privilege, dowdiness and ennui. I don’t think I know anyone in London who has the time or money to worry about their garden. Who actually has a garden, apart from the housewives of Chelsea?

But enough of my deep-seated jealousy. The Chelsea Flower Show has always possessed a bit more glitz than the average horticultural get-together, thanks to its Royal patronage and exclusive postcode. All the same the idea of an afternoon mooching around some doubtlessly fairly pleasant gardens, surrounded by the landed gentry, sounds ok, just a little dull. But against all (my) expectation this year’s show has actually turned out to be a hot bed of excitement, controversy and - dare I say it - titillation.

The centrepiece of the 4Head 'Garden of Dreams' is a 12ft long living sculpture of grass and plants depicting a naked woman, asleep on the ground. If that wasn’t enough to set a few pensioners’ pulses racing, they were then confronted by the real thing. Former model and naturist Sheridan Ritchie is to be found scampering about the Cancer Research garden with nothing but a watering can to hide her dignity for the duration of the show. We’re not just talking Charlie Dimmock’s erect nipples here – this is full blown nudity. It's all in a bid to highlight the dangers of skin cancer, apparently. It strikes me that they’ve given the poor usual visitors no time to adapt – they didn’t even smooth the passage with the sculpture one year, followed by the whole shebang the next. I certainly expect a few middle-class eyebrows to be raised.

Just like the infamous calendar that brought the WI out into the cold, so to speak, this year’s show has tried to demonstrate that gardeners know how to let there hair down too. Gardening has been making the tentative steps to acceptability, trying to get youthful and dynamic for a while now. Look at all the shows on TV – old favourites like Gardeners’ World have given way to make-over merchants Garden Invaders, and the all-conquering Ground Force. No one’s touting a horti-cool-tral movement yet, but we’re not far off.

I’m all for the bare flesh, why not? It’s nice to see the patrons of the Chelsea Flower Show getting a bit of excitement for once. But if I am to attend next year, I want to see equal opportunities – naked men dotted strategically around the show gardens would be a vast improvement. Yes, I know we’re the fairer sex, but I’m a modern girl.



A Grand Gothic Revival
St Pancras’ former Midland Grand Hotel is to reopen in 2009 after a £100 million refurbishment. The 133-year-old building, famed for its Gothic Revival architecture, will reopen as a 254-room, luxury hotel. St Pancras is set to become the London base of Eurostar train services to Paris and Brussels next year.
Ken Counts Cost of Poverty
A report commissioned by London Mayor, Ken Livingstone, reveals that this year's Living Wage for London is £7.05 an hour. A Living Wage aims to include a secure margin to ensure that London employees do not fall into poverty as a result of unexpected expenses.
Just Sue It
Hackney Council is threatening Nike with a multi-million pound lawsuit after sportswear bearing the borough’s logo appeared on t-shirts, trainers, vests and footballs. The Council are demanding a percentage of sales revenue, free sportswear for all children, and an assurance that the Hackney range is ethically produced.
July 2008
24th July
Sandwiched Out
17th July
The Show Ain't Over 'Til the Fat Lady's on Page 3
June 2008
26th June
Love All at Wimbledon
16th June
Miller Puts the Heat on Tennant
May 2008
27th May
Booze Banned on Buses
20th May
Same Again?
April 2008
23rd April
By George
11th April
Back to the 80s
March 2008
28th March
How do You Solve A Problem Like Medea?
20th March
Flight Fantastic
February 2008
20th February
Dark, Satanic Turnmills
6th February
A Diamond in the Drink
January 2008
21st January
People Wanted for Plinth
14th January
Boo! Hiss!
December 2007
28th December
Tate That - A Hirst for Art
20th December
Christmas Shopping
November 2007
27th November
Mind the Gap
26th November
London On A Tray
October 2007
26th October
Leaving the Station
14th October
The Sky's the Limit
September 2007
26th September
The Play Within A Play
19th September
Fashion, Frocks and Celeb Shocks
12th September
Saying Tanks for the Mammaries
August 2007
24th August
Heathrow under Siege
17th August
Gormless
10th August
Losing Face
July 2007
24th July
Are We Reaching Boiling Point Yet This Summer?
13th July
Red Ken versus Blonde Boris
June 2007
22nd June
Last Orders at the Fag Machine
11th June
London the Musical
May 2007
21st May
What Lurks Beneath
10th May
The Stuff Dreams Are Made Of
April 2007
27th April
London’s Walk on the Wild Side
20th April
Stand Behind the Yellow Line
13th April
Like Water for Chocolate
March 2007
23rd March
So, Another Magazine
16th March
Avoiding iContact
February 2007
23rd February
Sex and Art...
16th February
C-Charge Protest Fails to Bring Down Government
9th February
Live Earth London
January 2007
26th January
A Vote for Shilpa is a Vote for Britain
18th January
Carriage on up the West End
December 2006
29th December
Food for Thought
22nd December
A Poisonous Marketing Campaign
15th December
In for a Penny, In for Five Pounds
November 2006
17th November
Big Department Stores Leave Santa Out in the Cold
10th November
Failing to Save the World
October 2006
27th October
Frozen Prawns and Melting Icecaps
20th October
Predatory Pelicans and Happy Woodland Folk
13th October
Hope at last for east end of Oxford Street
September 2006
16th September
Lite the Blue Paper and Stand Well Back
9th September
Of Poles and Twiglets
August 2006
25th August
Free Fares For the Fat and the Fashionable
11th August
London Friendly
4th August
Archway To Organic Heaven
July 2006
21st July
London - Celebrity Frat House
7th July
Out of the Galleries into the Streets
June 2006
23rd June
Mayors, Nightmares and Marias
16th June
Downright Rude in Paris and London
9th June
Enter the Inferno
May 2006
26th May
Curvaceous Border
12th May
Vegging Out
April 2006
21st April
The Camden Crawl
17th April
Down the Pan
13th April
I Want to Break Free
9th April
Big Brother seems to have been left in a bar somewhere
7th April
Don't Box Me In
March 2006
24th March
Political Correctness Reaches New Heights
February 2006
24th February
A Stadium's Tale: Cup Final Goes West
17th February
Modern Musicals are Rubbish
10th February
The City-Side Alliance
January 2006
20th January
February Sales
20th January
Moby Sick
13th January
Glass Half Full
3rd January
Three Cheers for the Tube Station Workers
December 2005
22nd December
January Bites
16th December
A Remarkable Year
November 2005
25th November
And a Partridge in a JCB
11th November
Driving Miss Sadie
4th November
Spam, Spam, Spammity-Spam, Shakespeare, Zorro, Chico and Rasputin
October 2005
28th October
Trick or Treat?
21st October
We Don't Mind a Little Delay...
14th October
Final Resting Place for Young British Artists
September 2005
16th September
Just a small urn for me, please barman
9th September
DRINK! DRINK! DRINK!
2nd September
The Free Tenor
August 2005
30th August
Samba Rhythms Breaking Out All Over The Stadium
20th August
Getting Behind the Iron Farce
10th August
Mystery Play is No Sell Out
July 2005
29th July
Moving On From 7/7
22nd July
Get loaded in the park
15th July
Victoire!!
June 2005
24th June
New Balls, Please
17th June
The End of an Unsightly Era
10th June
The Hooded Law
May 20