Wednesday 20th August  17:28 pm Good Afternoon

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Nelson's Column May Curvaceous Border 26th May 2006 The Chelsea Flower Show gets its Hands Dirty As much as I covet a bunch of blooms, I’ve never really taken that much interest in West London’s annual floral fiesta. To me the Chelsea Flower Show smacks of privilege, dowdiness and ennui. I don’t think I know anyone in London who has the time or money to worry about their garden. Who actually has a garden, apart from the housewives of Chelsea? But enough of my deep-seated jealousy. The Chelsea Flower Show has always possessed a bit more glitz than the average horticultural get-together, thanks to its Royal patronage and exclusive postcode. All the same the idea of an afternoon mooching around some doubtlessly fairly pleasant gardens, surrounded by the landed gentry, sounds ok, just a little dull. But against all (my) expectation this year’s show has actually turned out to be a hot bed of excitement, controversy and - dare I say it - titillation. The centrepiece of the 4Head 'Garden of Dreams' is a 12ft long living sculpture of grass and plants depicting a naked woman, asleep on the ground. If that wasn’t enough to set a few pensioners’ pulses racing, they were then confronted by the real thing. Former model and naturist Sheridan Ritchie is to be found scampering about the Cancer Research garden with nothing but a watering can to hide her dignity for the duration of the show. We’re not just talking Charlie Dimmock’s erect nipples here – this is full blown nudity. It's all in a bid to highlight the dangers of skin cancer, apparently. It strikes me that they’ve given the poor usual visitors no time to adapt – they didn’t even smooth the passage with the sculpture one year, followed by the whole shebang the next. I certainly expect a few middle-class eyebrows to be raised. Just like the infamous calendar that brought the WI out into the cold, so to speak, this year’s show has tried to demonstrate that gardeners know how to let there hair down too. Gardening has been making the tentative steps to acceptability, trying to get youthful and dynamic for a while now. Look at all the shows on TV – old favourites like Gardeners’ World have given way to make-over merchants Garden Invaders, and the all-conquering Ground Force. No one’s touting a horti-cool-tral movement yet, but we’re not far off. I’m all for the bare flesh, why not? It’s nice to see the patrons of the Chelsea Flower Show getting a bit of excitement for once. But if I am to attend next year, I want to see equal opportunities – naked men dotted strategically around the show gardens would be a vast improvement. Yes, I know we’re the fairer sex, but I’m a modern girl. A Grand Gothic Revival St Pancras’ former Midland Grand Hotel is to reopen in 2009 after a £100 million refurbishment. The 133-year-old building, famed for its Gothic Revival architecture, will reopen as a 254-room, luxury hotel. St Pancras is set to become the London base of Eurostar train services to Paris and Brussels next year. Ken Counts Cost of Poverty A report commissioned by London Mayor, Ken Livingstone, reveals that this year's Living Wage for London is £7.05 an hour. A Living Wage aims to include a secure margin to ensure that London employees do not fall into poverty as a result of unexpected expenses. Just Sue It Hackney Council is threatening Nike with a multi-million pound lawsuit after sportswear bearing the borough’s logo appeared on t-shirts, trainers, vests and footballs. The Council are demanding a percentage of sales revenue, free sportswear for all children, and an assurance that the Hackney range is ethically produced. July 2008 24th July Sandwiched Out 17th July The Show Ain't Over 'Til the Fat Lady's on Page 3 June 2008 26th June Love All at Wimbledon 16th June Miller Puts the Heat on Tennant May 2008 27th May Booze Banned on Buses 20th May Same Again? April 2008 23rd April By George 11th April Back to the 80s March 2008 28th March How do You Solve A Problem Like Medea? 20th March Flight Fantastic February 2008 20th February Dark, Satanic Turnmills 6th February A Diamond in the Drink January 2008 21st January People Wanted for Plinth 14th January Boo! Hiss! December 2007 28th December Tate That - A Hirst for Art 20th December Christmas Shopping November 2007 27th November Mind the Gap 26th November London On A Tray October 2007 26th October Leaving the Station 14th October The Sky's the Limit September 2007 26th September The Play Within A Play 19th September Fashion, Frocks and Celeb Shocks 12th September Saying Tanks for the Mammaries August 2007 24th August Heathrow under Siege 17th August Gormless 10th August Losing Face July 2007 24th July Are We Reaching Boiling Point Yet This Summer? 13th July Red Ken versus Blonde Boris June 2007 22nd June Last Orders at the Fag Machine 11th June London the Musical May 2007 21st May What Lurks Beneath 10th May The Stuff Dreams Are Made Of April 2007 27th April London’s Walk on the Wild Side 20th April Stand Behind the Yellow Line 13th April Like Water for Chocolate March 2007 23rd March So, Another Magazine 16th March Avoiding iContact February 2007 23rd February Sex and Art... 16th February C-Charge Protest Fails to Bring Down Government 9th February Live Earth London January 2007 26th January A Vote for Shilpa is a Vote for Britain 18th January Carriage on up the West End December 2006 29th December Food for Thought 22nd December A Poisonous Marketing Campaign 15th December In for a Penny, In for Five Pounds November 2006 17th November Big Department Stores Leave Santa Out in the Cold 10th November Failing to Save the World October 2006 27th October Frozen Prawns and Melting Icecaps 20th October Predatory Pelicans and Happy Woodland Folk 13th October Hope at last for east end of Oxford Street September 2006 16th September Lite the Blue Paper and Stand Well Back 9th September Of Poles and Twiglets August 2006 25th August Free Fares For the Fat and the Fashionable 11th August London Friendly 4th August Archway To Organic Heaven July 2006 21st July London - Celebrity Frat House 7th July Out of the Galleries into the Streets June 2006 23rd June Mayors, Nightmares and Marias 16th June Downright Rude in Paris and London 9th June Enter the Inferno May 2006 26th May Curvaceous Border 12th May Vegging Out April 2006 21st April The Camden Crawl 17th April Down the Pan 13th April I Want to Break Free 9th April Big Brother seems to have been left in a bar somewhere 7th April Don't Box Me In March 2006 24th March Political Correctness Reaches New Heights February 2006 24th February A Stadium's Tale: Cup Final Goes West 17th February Modern Musicals are Rubbish 10th February The City-Side Alliance January 2006 20th January February Sales 20th January Moby Sick 13th January Glass Half Full 3rd January Three Cheers for the Tube Station Workers December 2005 22nd December January Bites 16th December A Remarkable Year November 2005 25th November And a Partridge in a JCB 11th November Driving Miss Sadie 4th November Spam, Spam, Spammity-Spam, Shakespeare, Zorro, Chico and Rasputin October 2005 28th October Trick or Treat? 21st October We Don't Mind a Little Delay... 14th October Final Resting Place for Young British Artists September 2005 16th September Just a small urn for me, please barman 9th September DRINK! DRINK! DRINK! 2nd September The Free Tenor August 2005 30th August Samba Rhythms Breaking Out All Over The Stadium 20th August Getting Behind the Iron Farce 10th August Mystery Play is No Sell Out July 2005 29th July Moving On From 7/7 22nd July Get loaded in the park 15th July Victoire!! June 2005 24th June New Balls, Please 17th June The End of an Unsightly Era 10th June The Hooded Law May 20