Thursday 16th October  4:27 am Good Morning

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Nelson's Column June Downright Rude in Paris and London 16th June 2006 Reader’s Digest survey lays bare capital’s bad manners A recent Reader’s Digest investigation has revealed that London only ranks 15th in a list of the world’s most well-mannered cities. Am I surprised? No, certainly not. Every time I return from a weekend at my grandparent’s house in the West Country I’m once again shocked by the indifference and discourtesy I am displayed by my fellow Londoners. Not wanting to sound too sanctimonious, I must admit we’re all to blame to some extent. It’s just tricky to be friendly here. Really it is. Out in the sticks, how hard is it to say hello to a bus driver you see every day (who’s probably your cousin)? If I took the effort to struggle through the masses hoarded on the tube platform, knock on the driver’s door in order to exchange salutations, I’d be carted off to the loony bin. But probably not, whilst I embarrassed myself, the other passengers would no doubt be trying doubly hard to stare intently at their Metro. Nevertheless, I am on good terms with all the shopkeepers around where I live, because I am actually familiar with them. In the poll New York came out as the politest city. My first thought was that the US tipping culture was probably lubricating manners a fair bit. But was the survey taking into account sincerity, I ask myself? An inbred reflex to rebuff people with a saccharine sweet ‘have a nice day’ is by no means politeness. It’s just this kind of production-line manners that London can do without. Take our beloved supermarkets for example. The big companies have cottoned on to the fact we like to have a chin wag with staff and have trained their till robots accordingly. Sadly these minimum wagers, while being, in the main, fairly competent at scanning barcodes, do not possess finely honed acting skills. A totally non-committal, wooden ‘good morning, how are you?’, pulled off with a lack of enthusiasm suitable for a general election, doesn’t really wash. Furthermore, it’s curbing the truly polite amongst them who are forced to use these set lines. Anyway – Asia (not Asda) turned out to be the rudest place in the world – all of its cities surveyed (save Hong Kong) came in the top ten rudest. Cultural difference or total indifference, who knows? The biggest shock to the system though was coming in neck a neck with the French. Who hasn’t found themselves at the wrong end of a death stare from a churlish Parisian waiter on requesting a well-done steak? Then again, that sort of behaviour is at least based on fathomable culinary snobbery. In a pub the other day I ordered vodka and coke which, when delivered, was in fact a vodka and murky soda water. I explained my troubles to the barman who replied ‘yes, that sometimes happens’, and walked off to serve other customers. 'Service' like that, which smacks of indifference and a total lack of pride in your work, is something London can do without. The highlight of the survey though, was that the poll found that the men over 60 were the rudest of all. The vast majority of Reader’s Digest’s readership I shouldn’t guess. So much for the ‘youth of today’. Greater London Generosity 12 boxes of vitamins, a coffee machine with eight tins of coffee, a DVD of ‘The Wizard of Oz’ a torch and some binoculars were among the 59 gifts given to the Mayor of London between September 2005 and May 2006. The presents, given to Ken Livingstone and other members of the Greater London Authority, were listed in a report published last week. Some are on display in City Hall. Blessed be thy Bridge The Bishop of London has blessed a new five-lane bridge at Paddington Station. The 574ft structure, which crosses 14 rail tracks, two Tube lines and the Grand Union Canal, is designed to ease congestion stemming from one of the city’s busiest railway stations. The ceremony marked the end of the project which took two-and-a-half years to complete. Baa-rchitecture 30 sheep accompanied by sheep dogs and shepherds made their way across the capital’s Millennium Bridge this month to mark the start of London Architecture Week. Thousands witnessed the event demonstrating the historic droving rights of the Freemen of the City of London. September 2008 23rd September Chips too Chavvy for Chelsea 16th September The London Restaurant Awards August 2008 26th August No Smoking, No Ducks, No Barbecues 20th August The Olympics July 2008 24th July Sandwiched Out 17th July The Show Ain't Over 'Til the Fat Lady's on Page 3 June 2008 26th June Love All at Wimbledon 16th June Miller Puts the Heat on Tennant May 2008 27th May Booze Banned on Buses 20th May Same Again? April 2008 23rd April By George 11th April Back to the 80s March 2008 28th March How do You Solve A Problem Like Medea? 20th March Flight Fantastic February 2008 20th February Dark, Satanic Turnmills 6th February A Diamond in the Drink January 2008 21st January People Wanted for Plinth 14th January Boo! Hiss! December 2007 28th December Tate That - A Hirst for Art 20th December Christmas Shopping November 2007 27th November Mind the Gap 26th November London On A Tray October 2007 26th October Leaving the Station 14th October The Sky's the Limit September 2007 26th September The Play Within A Play 19th September Fashion, Frocks and Celeb Shocks 12th September Saying Tanks for the Mammaries August 2007 24th August Heathrow under Siege 17th August Gormless 10th August Losing Face July 2007 24th July Are We Reaching Boiling Point Yet This Summer? 13th July Red Ken versus Blonde Boris June 2007 22nd June Last Orders at the Fag Machine 11th June London the Musical May 2007 21st May What Lurks Beneath 10th May The Stuff Dreams Are Made Of April 2007 27th April London’s Walk on the Wild Side 20th April Stand Behind the Yellow Line 13th April Like Water for Chocolate March 2007 23rd March So, Another Magazine 16th March Avoiding iContact February 2007 23rd February Sex and Art... 16th February C-Charge Protest Fails to Bring Down Government 9th February Live Earth London January 2007 26th January A Vote for Shilpa is a Vote for Britain 18th January Carriage on up the West End December 2006 29th December Food for Thought 22nd December A Poisonous Marketing Campaign 15th December In for a Penny, In for Five Pounds November 2006 17th November Big Department Stores Leave Santa Out in the Cold 10th November Failing to Save the World October 2006 27th October Frozen Prawns and Melting Icecaps 20th October Predatory Pelicans and Happy Woodland Folk 13th October Hope at last for east end of Oxford Street September 2006 16th September Lite the Blue Paper and Stand Well Back 9th September Of Poles and Twiglets August 2006 25th August Free Fares For the Fat and the Fashionable 11th August London Friendly 4th August Archway To Organic Heaven July 2006 21st July London - Celebrity Frat House 7th July Out of the Galleries into the Streets June 2006 23rd June Mayors, Nightmares and Marias 16th June Downright Rude in Paris and London 9th June Enter the Inferno May 2006 26th May Curvaceous Border 12th May Vegging Out April 2006 21st April The Camden Crawl 17th April Down the Pan 13th April I Want to Break Free 9th April Big Brother seems to have been left in a bar somewhere 7th April Don't Box Me In March 2006 24th March Political Correctness Reaches New Heights February 2006 24th February A Stadium's Tale: Cup Final Goes West 17th February Modern Musicals are Rubbish 10th February The City-Side Alliance January 2006 20th January February Sales 20th January Moby Sick 13th January Glass Half Full 3rd January Three Cheers for the Tube Station Workers December 2005 22nd December January Bites 16th December A Remarkable Year November 2005 25th November And a Partridge in a JCB 11th November Driving Miss Sadie 4th November Spam, Spam, Spammity-Spam, Shakespeare, Zorro, Chico and Rasputin October 2005 28th October Trick or Treat? 21st October We Don't Mind a Little Delay... 14th October Final Resting Place for Young British Artists September 2005 16th September Just a small urn for me, please barman 9th September DRINK! DRINK! DRINK! 2nd September The Free Tenor August 2005 30th August Samba Rhythms Breaking Out All Over The Stadium 20th August Getting Behind the Iron Farce 10th August Mystery Play is No Sell Out July 2005 29th July Moving On From 7/7