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June
Enter the Inferno 9th June 2006
Getting hot under the collar as the daily commute warms up.
I nearly boiled over on the tube this morning after half an hour between Piccadilly Circus and Leicester Square. Not because of the inordinate delays but because of a story in the paper.

Connex, the company which maintains the rails, has neglected to adjust the tracks for heat expansion, causing the lines to buckle. Connex made over £300 million last year but will be fined £1 million for every day the fiasco continues. Good.

Indignant as this story made me, it hardly comes as a surprise. Every year the London Underground is threatened with total meltdown by warm weather, leaves on the line, or the wrong kind of rain. Our Victorian infrastructure simply cannot cope.

And neither can the passengers. As the heat mounts and delays pile up, the cattle lose all sense of decorum, shouting, pushing and fainting. Last year saw the glorious advent of posters telling passengers how to behave in hot weather.

Drink water, they counselled. If you feel hot, get off the tube. And if you really must throw up or pass out, have the common decency to stumble onto the platform first and save us any further delays.

The truth is, travelling on a hot tube is hell and there is very little to be done. Desperate Mayor Ken Livingston offered a million pounds to any inventor who could ventilate the Northern Line. The reward remains unclaimed.

How to survive as the heat rises and the pressure mounts? Those patronising adverts from Transport for London seem to spell out the attitude of ‘Customer Service’ – look after yourself. Standard TFL advice is to buy a bottle of water, or take a bus. Charming.

Self help is certainly your best recourse in the daily commute. This reporter swears by a hand held battery fan which is also a good way to make friends of your sweating, panting neighbours.

But what about a bit of help from above? Research reveals that as in London, most capital city transport systems are more concerned with advertising to their charges than looking after them.

By far the best solutions are in Paris, Moscow and St Petersburg, where trains run fast, on time. It is much easier to keep cool if the end is in sight.

In New York, Guardian Angels swap leathers for water pistols, sprays and rehydration packs in summer, but the Angels are hardly going to ride to the rescue in the UK.

Hope comes from Santiago de Chile, the best run underground in the world and priced at 10p a journey. In summer they mount free water coolers on every platform. Advertisers pay for the machines and supply branded papers cups with their logos.

Wouldn’t it be nice to see such a common sense idea applied in London? Dream on, fellow travellers – this is Britain. We don’t like clever foreigners telling us how to do things. Far better to sit and sweat in suffering silence.
National Gallery Sees Major Shift in Art
In an unprecedented move, The National Gallery is set to re-hang its main galleries to allow paintings by Spanish master Velazquez to be shown to their best advantage. Tickets for the UK’s first major exhibition of the Spanish master’s work went on sale this month.
Highbury Goes Under the Hammer
The fixtures and fittings of Highbury - Arsenal football club’s former stadium - stadium went on sale this month. Lots ranging from turnstiles to artificial plants and crockery are being auctioned off by internet site www.highburyauction.com. A new 60,000 seat Emirates stadium will host the club’s games from the next season.
Stone Me
One of London’s oldest relics - the London Stone - is set to get a new home. The limestone block is currently encased in a cage on the wall of a Cannon Street sports shop due for demolition. The ancient and mysterious artefact, alluded to by Shakespeare, William Blake and Dickens, is said to hold the fortunes of the city and will head to the Museum of London for safekeeping.
October 2009
26th October
Posties Strike a Chord
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Frieze Still Pleases
September 2009
26th September
A River Runs Through It
23rd September
Blogging is Best
August 2009
26th August
When Saturday comes
22nd August
Bring on the Bikes
July 2009
27th July
Against the Clock
20th July
View for a thrill
June 2009
May 2009
April 2009
March 2009
February 2009
18th February
New Photography Laws
12th February
Glitz and the Pitts
January 2009
27th January
Setting the Standard
21st January
Too Much for Posh Nosh?
December 2008
23rd December
January is on the Horizon
20th December
Merry Christmas
November 2008
26th November
All The World's A Stage
20th November
Surviving the Crunch
October 2008
24th October
Boris v Jingjing
17th October
Soaps in Pole Position
September 2008
August 2008
July 2008
June 2008
May 2008
April 2008
23rd April
By George
11th April
Back to the 80s
March 2008
February 2008
20th February
Dark, Satanic Turnmills
6th February
A Diamond in the Drink
January 2008
21st January
People Wanted for Plinth
14th January
Boo! Hiss!
December 2007
28th December
Tate That - A Hirst for Art
20th December
Christmas Shopping
November 2007
27th November
Mind the Gap
26th November
London On A Tray
October 2007
26th October
Leaving the Station
14th October
The Sky's the Limit
September 2007
August 2007
24th August
Heathrow under Siege
17th August
Gormless
10th August
Losing Face
July 2007
June 2007
May 2007
April 2007
March 2007
23rd March
So, Another Magazine
16th March
Avoiding iContact
February 2007
January 2007
December 2006
November 2006
October 2006
September 2006
August 2006
July 2006
June 2006
May 2006
26th May
Curvaceous Border
12th May
Vegging Out
April 2006
March 2006
February 2006
January 2006
20th January
February Sales
20th January
Moby Sick
13th January
Glass Half Full
3rd January
Three Cheers for the Tube Station Workers
December 2005
22nd December
January Bites
16th December
A Remarkable Year
November 2005
October 2005
September 2005
August 2005
July 2005
29th July
Moving On From 7/7
22nd July
Get loaded in the park
15th July
Victoire!!
June 2005
May 2005
April 2005
March 2005
February 2005
January 2005
December 2004
30th December
Party Pooper
23rd December
The Second Battle of Trafalgar
16th December
Sadie's Year
November 2004
28th November
Ripper-Watch
21st November
Kinky Boots
14th November
Smoked out
October 2004
22nd October
Yuppie Meal
15th October
Fines of Fury
8th October
No Twist in the Turner
September 2004
17th September
Battleships, bloodsports and Batman
10th September
Clique Week
3rd September
Return of the Bard
August 2004
July 2004
 
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