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April
Stand Behind the Yellow Line 20th April 2007
Your Next Train May Not Arrive
It appears Londoners have got a lot of time to rail against the Tube. No need to stop press for this one! Sherlock Holmes would have no trouble unravelling this crime and pointing the finger of blame. Well, not if he tried to get on the Tube at Baker Street anyway. In fact, if you’d been wandering around London in a semi-conscious daze for the past decade you would still have noticed – the Tube is not really on time.

Now, a survey has merely confirmed what commuters tapping their feet, glancing at their watches, lolling their heads already know - there are more delays lasting 15 minutes or more now then ten years ago, 84 more to be precise.

In other news it has been revealed that we spend more than 15 days a year travelling to and from work. For us poor unfortunates using the Tube this means a large chunck of that time is spent feeling stressed before we’ve even arrived at our desks and had that crucial first cup of coffee.

Whilst pondering why, despite billions of pounds, the trains are still so unreliable I’ve come to the conclusion that the Tube people simply can’t tell the time. If those electronic boards that tell you when the next train is due are anything to go by this must be the case. Many times I’ve looked up and seen ‘Northern Line 1 min’ and thought ‘great, just in time’ and still been waiting there well over 60 seconds later. OK, so I actually counted but I had to do something to quell my rising anger at being blatantly lied to!

On one particularly depressing occasion I was attempting to get the last Tube home (naïve I know) from London Bridge. The evil board was counting down the time, wrongly, from ‘10 mins’ and when it got to ‘1 min’ it just disappeared. Not the train - that never arrived - but there was no record of where it went, no announcement to say it was cancelled, just an empty platform and the prospect of a £25 cab journey home.

And the sheer expense of it all makes it worse. Firstly we’re told we must own Oyster cards - let’s not pretend there’s a choice in the matter unless you want to be robbed in broad daylight by the ticket machine. I grant you, other things do get more expensive but that’s because they get quicker, have a new design, are made with more megapixels per second. Not so with the Tube. We just throw money at it and it gets worse.

We’re terribly British about the whole thing and wouldn’t have anybody from out of town (good grief, don’t mention the Metro) pouring scorn on our beloved Tube but there is a limit! If you bought something in a shop that was as rubbish you’d definitely take it back – maybe we could point the Tube, the Northern Line in particular, in the direction of Transport for London and just get them to take it back. And then they could pedestrianise London and everyone would be happier…but that’s another story altogether!
Take Me to the Gorillas
Black Cab drivers are being given the chance to extend their Knowledge by getting off the road and travelling into Africa - without leaving London. Used to dropping tourists off at the gate of London Zoo, cabbies and their families can visit for free between 11th and 14th May and navigate their way around the 36 acre site, which is home to hundreds of animals.
A Different Planet
Chelsea meets the cosmos at this year's flower show as roses and petunias (so last century) make way for plants that could grow in outer space. Designer Sarah Eberle is creating a terrestrial space garden located on planet Mars - "600 Days with Bradstone" belongs to an astronaut on a 600-day tour and is said to be within the realms of scientific possibility.
On Top of the Iceberg
As temperatures soar in London, there’ll be one place this summer to positively chill out as the Natural History Museum creates an Antarctic experience. Visitors, taking on the role of Ice Cadets, will be plunged into a sub-zero world (with protective clothing!) where they can ride snowmobiles, survive in complete darkness and visit a penguin colony. All in the middle of South Kensington from 25th May.
October 2009
26th October
Posties Strike a Chord
26th October
Frieze Still Pleases
September 2009
26th September
A River Runs Through It
23rd September
Blogging is Best
August 2009
26th August
When Saturday comes
22nd August
Bring on the Bikes
July 2009
27th July
Against the Clock
20th July
View for a thrill
June 2009
May 2009
April 2009
March 2009
February 2009
18th February
New Photography Laws
12th February
Glitz and the Pitts
January 2009
27th January
Setting the Standard
21st January
Too Much for Posh Nosh?
December 2008
23rd December
January is on the Horizon
20th December
Merry Christmas
November 2008
26th November
All The World's A Stage
20th November
Surviving the Crunch
October 2008
24th October
Boris v Jingjing
17th October
Soaps in Pole Position
September 2008
August 2008
July 2008
June 2008
May 2008
April 2008
23rd April
By George
11th April
Back to the 80s
March 2008
February 2008
20th February
Dark, Satanic Turnmills
6th February
A Diamond in the Drink
January 2008
21st January
People Wanted for Plinth
14th January
Boo! Hiss!
December 2007
28th December
Tate That - A Hirst for Art
20th December
Christmas Shopping
November 2007
27th November
Mind the Gap
26th November
London On A Tray
October 2007
26th October
Leaving the Station
14th October
The Sky's the Limit
September 2007
August 2007
24th August
Heathrow under Siege
17th August
Gormless
10th August
Losing Face
July 2007
June 2007
May 2007
April 2007
March 2007
23rd March
So, Another Magazine
16th March
Avoiding iContact
February 2007
January 2007
December 2006
November 2006
October 2006
September 2006
August 2006
July 2006
June 2006
May 2006
26th May
Curvaceous Border
12th May
Vegging Out
April 2006
March 2006
February 2006
January 2006
20th January
February Sales
20th January
Moby Sick
13th January
Glass Half Full
3rd January
Three Cheers for the Tube Station Workers
December 2005
22nd December
January Bites
16th December
A Remarkable Year
November 2005
October 2005
September 2005
August 2005
July 2005
29th July
Moving On From 7/7
22nd July
Get loaded in the park
15th July
Victoire!!
June 2005
May 2005
April 2005
March 2005
February 2005
January 2005
December 2004
30th December
Party Pooper
23rd December
The Second Battle of Trafalgar
16th December
Sadie's Year
November 2004
28th November
Ripper-Watch
21st November
Kinky Boots
14th November
Smoked out
October 2004
22nd October
Yuppie Meal
15th October
Fines of Fury
8th October
No Twist in the Turner
September 2004
17th September
Battleships, bloodsports and Batman
10th September
Clique Week
3rd September
Return of the Bard
August 2004
July 2004
 
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