Wednesday 7th January  13:02 pm Good Afternoon

on today on tomorrow other dates...

Nelson's Column July Are We Reaching Boiling Point Yet This Summer? 24th July 2007 We wouldn't want to make a splash... I hate that bit in ‘Four Weddings and a Funeral’ when Carrie (Andie MacDowell) is hearing how Charles (Hugh Grant) is head over heels in love with her and it’s absolutely lashing down with rain and she says ‘Is it raining..? I hadn’t noticed”. Pur-leease! I know love is blind and all that but this is too much – there are streams of water coursing down her cheeks, her hair is plastered to her head and she’d look like a drowned rat if it wasn’t for the really rather good L’Oreal makeup. I guess declaring your undying love in a torrential downpour is meant to be utterly romantic but I digress – I was reminded of this scene in reference to our good ol’ British summer. If London could utter a collective sound bite on the weather, I’m sure it would be “Is it raining..? I hadn’t noticed”. I remember mumbling mild surprise when the rain got truly apocalyptic outside my window at work and, even by British standards, there have been more conversations that usual about the weather but I think it’s our stiff upper lips that really prevent us from being too downhearted. I can almost hear the cries of “just a bit of rain” from households across the country. When things got even worse and the Thames burst its banks, this elicited strangely knowing nods from Londoners along with a few headshakes over the Metro on the Tube. Press photographs show people staunchly carrying their heaving suitcases while wading through knee-high water – what else can they do but one gets the impression that when they reach dry land someone will just whack the kettle on for a pot of tea, that sure-fire remedy to any crisis in England! Even when our British reserve fails us and we do concede that things are pretty bad, soon another side takes over- resignation. I think this is because we don’t expect anything more from our emerald green isle than flooding in July. When it happens we are almost pleased to have been proved right – “it always rains during Wimbledon”, “well, this is England” and “I knew having a picnic wasn’t a good idea”. Admittedly prices are soaring with a last minute dash to the sun but imagine the scene. On a ski trip a few years back – one of those package deals, all-inclusive right down to the vinegary wine (before I discovered luxury chalets) - a Mr Brittas-type and his wife (think Hyacinth Bucket) turned up in Val Thorens with bags full of beach towels, Bermuda shorts and John Grisham novels to read by the pool. They thought they’d booked a summer holiday. Their realisation and utter horror just kept on growing as they were taken higher and higher into the snow-capped mountains of the French Alps. Number one, who on earth thinks Val Thorens is in Spain? And two, imagine their crushing disappointment at thinking they were going to a resort near Benalmadena and ending up with a cup of vin chaud by a log fire… I tell this story because it goes someway to illustrate what happens to us every time we go on holiday in England expecting the sun to shine, except unlike Mr Brittas and Hyacinth we do it knowingly. We know it’s going to rain, we know we’re going to regret packing vest tops instead of fleeces and we know it’s going to take us 24 hours to get to Cornwall in the floods (this actually happened) but us Brits will carry on regardless. Don’t let anyone tell us we can’t have our camping holiday even if it does mean getting washed away with our tent in a river of mud. We will have fun, we will endure the weather and we certainly won’t give up and check in to a B&B. We’re not going to let “a little bit of rain” spoil our long weekend to the Lake District, trip to the seaside or much-loved holiday under canvas in Somerset, which, incidentally, is where I’m going next week… Countdown to Christmas! The weather of late may make it feel like it’s the middle of winter but August is too soon for Christmas shopping even by Santa’s standards. This hasn’t stopped Selfridges from ushering in the festive spirit and throwing open the doors of its Christmas shop for those who want to get a (four-month) head start. Shockingly, the store has chosen opulence (or expense) as this year’s theme… The Streets are Paved with Gold The treasure hunt for a fake bar of gold is over with Australian Michael Barry in possession of the £1,000 piece of art. Artist Paul Insect created 99 gold-plated brass bars for an exhibition at the Lazarides Gallery in Soho and hid one more somewhere in the city with clues to uncover the bounty on his website. All very ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’ except X didn’t mark the spot and Mr Barry probably used an A to Z to find Cambridge Heath Road in Bethnal Green. Harry works his Magic There really has been too much excitement for one week for Potter fans – queuing up at midnight to get the final book and heading to see Harry’s adventures in his fifth year at Hogwarts played out on the big screen. If latest box office figures are anything to go by the film is not doing too badly. With a record opening of £16.4 million (and still rising) it looks set to be an all-time hit for British films – with a little financial help from the Americans… December 2008 23rd December January is on the Horizon 20th December Merry Christmas November 2008 26th November All The World's A Stage 20th November Surviving the Crunch October 2008 24th October Boris v Jingjing 17th October Soaps in Pole Position September 2008 23rd September Chips too Chavvy for Chelsea 16th September The London Restaurant Awards August 2008 26th August No Smoking, No Ducks, No Barbecues 20th August The Olympics July 2008 24th July Sandwiched Out 17th July The Show Ain't Over 'Til the Fat Lady's on Page 3 June 2008 26th June Love All at Wimbledon 16th June Miller Puts the Heat on Tennant May 2008 27th May Booze Banned on Buses 20th May Same Again? April 2008 23rd April By George 11th April Back to the 80s March 2008 28th March How do You Solve A Problem Like Medea? 20th March Flight Fantastic February 2008 20th February Dark, Satanic Turnmills 6th February A Diamond in the Drink January 2008 21st January People Wanted for Plinth 14th January Boo! Hiss! December 2007 28th December Tate That - A Hirst for Art 20th December Christmas Shopping November 2007 27th November Mind the Gap 26th November London On A Tray October 2007 26th October Leaving the Station 14th October The Sky's the Limit September 2007 26th September The Play Within A Play 19th September Fashion, Frocks and Celeb Shocks 12th September Saying Tanks for the Mammaries August 2007 24th August Heathrow under Siege 17th August Gormless 10th August Losing Face July 2007 24th July Are We Reaching Boiling Point Yet This Summer? 13th July Red Ken versus Blonde Boris June 2007 22nd June Last Orders at the Fag Machine 11th June London the Musical May 2007 21st May What Lurks Beneath 10th May The Stuff Dreams Are Made Of April 2007 27th April London’s Walk on the Wild Side 20th April Stand Behind the Yellow Line 13th April Like Water for Chocolate March 2007 23rd March So, Another Magazine 16th March Avoiding iContact February 2007 23rd February Sex and Art... 16th February C-Charge Protest Fails to Bring Down Government 9th February Live Earth London January 2007 26th January A Vote for Shilpa is a Vote for Britain 18th January Carriage on up the West End December 2006 29th December Food for Thought 22nd December A Poisonous Marketing Campaign 15th December In for a Penny, In for Five Pounds November 2006 17th November Big Department Stores Leave Santa Out in the Cold 10th November Failing to Save the World October 2006 27th October Frozen Prawns and Melting Icecaps 20th October Predatory Pelicans and Happy Woodland Folk 13th October Hope at last for east end of Oxford Street September 2006 16th September Lite the Blue Paper and Stand Well Back 9th September Of Poles and Twiglets August 2006 25th August Free Fares For the Fat and the Fashionable 11th August London Friendly 4th August Archway To Organic Heaven July 2006 21st July London - Celebrity Frat House 7th July Out of the Galleries into the Streets June 2006 23rd June Mayors, Nightmares and Marias 16th June Downright Rude in Paris and London 9th June Enter the Inferno May 2006 26th May Curvaceous Border 12th May Vegging Out April 2006 21st April The Camden Crawl 17th April Down the Pan 13th April I Want to Break Free 9th April Big Brother seems to have been left in a bar somewhere 7th April Don't Box Me In March 2006 24th March Political Correctness Reaches New Heights February 2006 24th February A Stadium's Tale: Cup Final Goes West 17th February Modern Musicals are Rubbish 10th February The City-Side Alliance January 2006 20th January February Sales 20th January Moby Sick 13th January Glass Half Full 3rd January Three Cheers for the Tube Station Workers December 2005 22nd December January Bites 16th December A Remarkable Year November 2005 25th November And a Partridge in a JCB 11th November Driving Miss Sadie 4th November Spam, Spam, Spammity-Spam, Shakespeare, Zorro, Chico and Rasputin October 2005 28th October Trick or Treat? 21st October We Don't Mind a Little Delay... 14th October Final Resting Place for Young British Artists September 2005