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August
Losing Face 10th August 2007
The real reasons for the Stockmarket crash
So what I think happened is this: American banks have been lending money to slack-jawed Gerry Springer-fodder, who haven’t been able to keep up with their payments. As a result all the investment bankers are hunched weeping over their Blackberries, instead of flashing their cash, and I’m no longer being bought cocktails when I go out near the City. It doesn’t really seem fair, does it?

In truth, the City of London isn’t having too serious a crisis of confidence, in spite of the headlines and the exciting spiky graphs next to them. Certainly any photographer heading up to try and catch a hedge fund manager leaping to his death from the 28th floor of 30 St Mary Axe would have been sadly disappointed (in any case, it would be more of a slide than a leap if you were near the top of The Gherkin).

But it did lead me to wonder exactly what all these people were actually doing up there. They work these 80-hour weeks, and earn enough money to happily ply a random girl with cocktails all night, even though she would never, ever date a man in a pinstripe suit. Yet they still can’t figure out that cash leant to Mid-Western mouthbreathers, whose only qualifications are the stars on their name-badges, might not represent a brilliant investment.

Frankly, the ‘sub-prime mortgage market’ and ‘diversified risk’ have far less to do with this chaos than bloody Facebook. Journalists are pretty early adopters when it comes to procrastination applications, but by the time I arrived on Facebook, every stockbroker, accountant and banker in London was already there, changing their status every 7 minutes, and posting drivel on each other’s walls. It’s hardly surprising, given how astoundingly dull their jobs must be, but it probably left them with about three minutes each day to study the financial markets.

London’s exclusive restaurants, glitteriest bars, and dullest sporting events* are going to find themselves pretty empty while the money-men try to pick up the pieces of this latest balls-up. But since they’ve all just been banned from Facebook by their companies - and have completely lost the ability to communicate with their friends by any other means - perhaps the City-boys wouldn’t have been out much anyway.

*Cricket matches, obviously.
Rock ‘n’ Roll-ups
They might be pushing pensioner age but Rolling Stones Ronnie Wood and Keith Richards proved they’ve still got that rebel streak in them. Lighting up cigarettes on the O2 stage despite the smoking ban has sparked controversy but the crowd loved this rock ‘n’ roll spirit, however far it is from the wildness of the band’s early days…
Anyone seen a Constable?
It was bound to be one of those "I’ll just put it there for safe keeping" moments when a Mr John Platt slipped Constable’s drawing of a church between the pages of his art volumes, which were left to the British Museum. Over 100 years on, the sketch has been discovered by curator Felicity Myrone and now scholars are scratching their heads over how Platt had it in the first place.
Big Lot of Fuss over Nothing
It’s still uncertain whether this is another publicity stunt (Louis Walsh and X Factor springs to mind) but Celebrity Big Brother is looking set to be axed from our screens following last year’s controversy. How will we cope without a handful of Z-listers tearing each other to bits?
October 2009
26th October
Posties Strike a Chord
26th October
Frieze Still Pleases
September 2009
26th September
A River Runs Through It
23rd September
Blogging is Best
August 2009
26th August
When Saturday comes
22nd August
Bring on the Bikes
July 2009
27th July
Against the Clock
20th July
View for a thrill
June 2009
May 2009
April 2009
March 2009
February 2009
18th February
New Photography Laws
12th February
Glitz and the Pitts
January 2009
27th January
Setting the Standard
21st January
Too Much for Posh Nosh?
December 2008
23rd December
January is on the Horizon
20th December
Merry Christmas
November 2008
26th November
All The World's A Stage
20th November
Surviving the Crunch
October 2008
24th October
Boris v Jingjing
17th October
Soaps in Pole Position
September 2008
August 2008
July 2008
June 2008
May 2008
April 2008
23rd April
By George
11th April
Back to the 80s
March 2008
February 2008
20th February
Dark, Satanic Turnmills
6th February
A Diamond in the Drink
January 2008
21st January
People Wanted for Plinth
14th January
Boo! Hiss!
December 2007
28th December
Tate That - A Hirst for Art
20th December
Christmas Shopping
November 2007
27th November
Mind the Gap
26th November
London On A Tray
October 2007
26th October
Leaving the Station
14th October
The Sky's the Limit
September 2007
August 2007
24th August
Heathrow under Siege
17th August
Gormless
10th August
Losing Face
July 2007
June 2007
May 2007
April 2007
March 2007
23rd March
So, Another Magazine
16th March
Avoiding iContact
February 2007
January 2007
December 2006
November 2006
October 2006
September 2006
August 2006
July 2006
June 2006
May 2006
26th May
Curvaceous Border
12th May
Vegging Out
April 2006
March 2006
February 2006
January 2006
20th January
February Sales
20th January
Moby Sick
13th January
Glass Half Full
3rd January
Three Cheers for the Tube Station Workers
December 2005
22nd December
January Bites
16th December
A Remarkable Year
November 2005
October 2005
September 2005
August 2005
July 2005
29th July
Moving On From 7/7
22nd July
Get loaded in the park
15th July
Victoire!!
June 2005
May 2005
April 2005
March 2005
February 2005
January 2005
December 2004
30th December
Party Pooper
23rd December
The Second Battle of Trafalgar
16th December
Sadie's Year
November 2004
28th November
Ripper-Watch
21st November
Kinky Boots
14th November
Smoked out
October 2004
22nd October
Yuppie Meal
15th October
Fines of Fury
8th October
No Twist in the Turner
September 2004
17th September
Battleships, bloodsports and Batman
10th September
Clique Week
3rd September
Return of the Bard
August 2004
July 2004
 
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