Nelson's Column
Link To Us Bookmark
November
London On A Tray 26th November 2007
Now you're spoiling us
Forget diamonds, butlers are a girl’s best friend. They’re there to pick out your outfit for you, iron your newspaper and do all the heavy lifting – not forgetting the important duty of answering the door; well, it can be very tiresome getting up, operating the handle and putting on the welcoming smile. The modern day butler is also on hand to solve any quandary, from dating advice to what to wear with those skinny jeans. Sweetly, he would never ever say the skinny jeans should be left at the back of the wardrobe.

Have you noticed though how few of these modern day heroes are around today? Not a lot. I sadly haven’t been keeping one in the space under my stairs and, come to think of it, haven’t seen one since the Jeeves and Wooster days.

Luckily, and just in time for Christmas shopping – so exhausting – Regent Street is putting on a weekend butler service to help alleviate the shopping stress for us damsels in search of some retail comfort. Next time you’re stranded between Massimo Dutti and Max Mara, desperately trying to hail a cab, get the butler to do it for you. It’ll save you from the indignity of flailing your arms around in public.

The team of seven (any connection to the dwarfs, do you think?) smartly uniformed helpers would put Santa’s elves to shame. Working hard to find your perfect presents, they can advise on where to get those Wedgwood plates for gran, Austin Reed suit for him or the iPod phone for the luckiest person on your list – surely the most longed for gift this Christmas. The personal shopper just got replaced.

It’s all wonderfully decadent and old fashioned but it doesn’t quite go far enough. What I’d like to see is free rickshaw rides between the shops – walking is even more tiring than getting the credit card out. And what with London Transport costs, it’d be so much more helpful than someone just pointing you in the right direction. What? I have to walk there? How about some refreshments on the way too; butlers carrying silver trays of mince pies and champagne are what’s called for – then London really would be a capital worth coming to. Prince Harry might even be tempted to leave Chelsea (not Chelsy – not so soon after the reunion, anyway) and head to Regent Street for a spot of crimbo shopping with the hoi polloi.

Holidaying in some smart places, as you do, one of the most luxurious things you can do is have a bath drawn by the butler. Think it’s silly? Honestly, if you get the opportunity, try it. The closest I can compare it to is having a cup of tea made for you. Tastes so much better than when you make it yourself doesn’t it? It’s one of those things that’s just true. Like that damn elusive sock that gets lost in the wash leaving you with a draw full of mis-matching odd ones. No one knows why it’s true, it just is.

If watching Britain’s most famous living butler, Paul Burrell, bush tucker trialling in the jungle has tarnished your image of these honourable gentlemen, think again. Or, better still, stroll down Regent Street and have your shopping carried for you. Next stop, Bond Street.
Ewan Sells Out
Demand for tickets to see Othello at the Donmar Warehouse has become so feverish that tickets are going for upwards of £100 for the sold out show. The excellent Chiwetel Ejiofor plays the title role and Kelly Reilly is Desdemona but surely the main attraction is Ewan McGregor who stars as Iago. Last seen on the London stage in the award-winning ‘Guys & Dolls’, McGregor returns to the stage after a two-year break. Prior to that he last trod the boards in 2000 in the West End production of ‘Little Malcolm and His Struggle Against The Eunuchs’. No wonder tickets are exchanging hands for five times their original price.
(Don't) Chew On This
A food supplier delivered rancid meat to top London hotels, government offices and hospitals including the Treasury, Westminster School and The Dorchester and Claridges hotels. A former employee of the now defunct McLaren Foods, described the rotten meat they would deliver in the following delightful terms: “Every time you opened the door it would hit you straight away.” On one occasion Claridges sent back an order of 250 sirloin steaks because they were green. Steak well done, anyone?
Who's Rubbish at Recycling?
In the same week that Greenwich was named the greenest borough in the city – and Tower Hamlets shamed as the least green (making it the brownest?) – it was revealed that more than half of central Government offices have no idea if they even have a recycling scheme at all. Not only that, Britain lags behind the rest of EU on recycling household waste; on average, more than a fifth (approaching 23%) gets recycled – one of the lowest rates in Europe. With this in mind Tower Hamlets’ pitiful 11.8% is indeed rubbish.
October 2009
26th October
Posties Strike a Chord
26th October
Frieze Still Pleases
September 2009
26th September
A River Runs Through It
23rd September
Blogging is Best
August 2009
26th August
When Saturday comes
22nd August
Bring on the Bikes
July 2009
27th July
Against the Clock
20th July
View for a thrill
June 2009
May 2009
April 2009
March 2009
February 2009
18th February
New Photography Laws
12th February
Glitz and the Pitts
January 2009
27th January
Setting the Standard
21st January
Too Much for Posh Nosh?
December 2008
23rd December
January is on the Horizon
20th December
Merry Christmas
November 2008
26th November
All The World's A Stage
20th November
Surviving the Crunch
October 2008
24th October
Boris v Jingjing
17th October
Soaps in Pole Position
September 2008
August 2008
July 2008
June 2008
May 2008
April 2008
23rd April
By George
11th April
Back to the 80s
March 2008
February 2008
20th February
Dark, Satanic Turnmills
6th February
A Diamond in the Drink
January 2008
21st January
People Wanted for Plinth
14th January
Boo! Hiss!
December 2007
28th December
Tate That - A Hirst for Art
20th December
Christmas Shopping
November 2007
27th November
Mind the Gap
26th November
London On A Tray
October 2007
26th October
Leaving the Station
14th October
The Sky's the Limit
September 2007
August 2007
24th August
Heathrow under Siege
17th August
Gormless
10th August
Losing Face
July 2007
June 2007
May 2007
April 2007
March 2007
23rd March
So, Another Magazine
16th March
Avoiding iContact
February 2007
January 2007
December 2006
November 2006
October 2006
September 2006
August 2006
July 2006
June 2006
May 2006
26th May
Curvaceous Border
12th May
Vegging Out
April 2006
March 2006
February 2006
January 2006
20th January
February Sales
20th January
Moby Sick
13th January
Glass Half Full
3rd January
Three Cheers for the Tube Station Workers
December 2005
22nd December
January Bites
16th December
A Remarkable Year
November 2005
October 2005
September 2005
August 2005
July 2005
29th July
Moving On From 7/7
22nd July
Get loaded in the park
15th July
Victoire!!
June 2005
May 2005
April 2005
March 2005
February 2005
January 2005
December 2004
30th December
Party Pooper
23rd December
The Second Battle of Trafalgar
16th December
Sadie's Year
November 2004
28th November
Ripper-Watch
21st November
Kinky Boots
14th November
Smoked out
October 2004
22nd October
Yuppie Meal
15th October
Fines of Fury
8th October
No Twist in the Turner
September 2004
17th September
Battleships, bloodsports and Batman
10th September
Clique Week
3rd September
Return of the Bard
August 2004
July 2004
 
Link to London On A Tray
To link to this page from your website use this code.
 
 
The link will appear on your page as:
 
Home | Contact us | Terms & Conditions | Link to us | Marketing | Partners | Subscriptions
Sponsor
Our favourite London hotels
May Fair Hotel
Luxury Hotels
 
In Trafalgar Square
20% off
 
At Liverpool Street
50% off
 
At Green Park
35% off
 
Near Covent Garden
30% off
 
Cavendish Hotel
Mid-range Hotels
 
Near Parliament
35% off
 
Near National Gallery
47% off
 
Near Tower Bridge
35% off
 
In Little Venice
40% off
 
Discounted theatre tickets
Chicago
57% off
 
29% off
 
42% off
 
56% off
 
47% off
 
38% off
 
Diner & Theatre Deals
Oliver
from £24.50
 
from £29.00
 
from £32.50
 
from £42.50
 
from £45.00
 
from £27.50
 
London Sightseeing
London Eye
10% off
 
10% off
 
10% off
 
from £8.50
 
from £25.00
 
10% off
 
LondonTown.com has special discounts every week. The amount of discount will vary depending on the dates you are coming and how far in advance you book. All discounts are subject to availability.
Recently viewed Favourites
Recently viewed